


Plan D for Dumbass

by Mirror_Verse, orphan_account



Series: Mirror-Verse [49]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, F/M, Roommates, Secret Relationship, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirror_Verse/pseuds/Mirror_Verse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer's got a secret and Gabriel and Balthazar are dying to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plan D for Dumbass

“Hey, where are you going?” Gabe asked from the couch as Lucifer strode out of the hall and pulled his coat on and grabbed his keys. Lucifer just turned to him and gave him a glare, “You’re not my mother. I’m older than you.”

“Ha ha, you’re a hoot,” Gabriel said from the couch, “But seriously, you never leave the house unless you have to.”

“Well now I leave the house because I want to,” Lucifer said, “I have friends, you know.”

“Do you? How come we’ve never met them?”

“Because your ugly face would scare them off.” He snapped, leaving the apartment with a slam of the door. Balthazar stuck his head out of the kitchen and pulled his headphones off, “What was that about?”

“Apparently Luci has friends and he doesn’t want us to know them,” Gabriel said seriously, before dropping his poker face and bursting into laughter, “No, he’s definitely got a secret.”

“And so we are morally obligated as brothers to find out what it is, right?” Balthazar asked, “To make sure he’s not hurting himself?”

“Of course.”

So they sat down and began to plan.

**Plan A: Operation Stalker**

Lucifer didn’t say anything, just walked out of the apartment and down the stairs, Gabe and Balthazar peering out of the window to see him walking out to a waiting car. Neither of them was good enough to tell what kind of car it was from so far away, so they scrambled out of the apartment, tripping over one another and trying to pull their jackets on without getting tangled. Gabriel grabbed his keys from the hook and they slammed the door shut just in time to see the car pulling out of the lot.

“Go, go!” Gabriel pushed Balthazar so that he practically fell down the stairs down to the parking lot.

“I’m going, I’m getting there.” He turned slightly to scowl before checking where he was going to be walking.

“Not fast enough, we’re going to lose them.”

“I know how to fucking walk, Gabriel.” He didn’t even bother looking back at Gabriel, instead scrambling down the stairs and launching himself at Gabriel’s rusted out death trap of a car.

“You know, sometimes I’m not so sure.”

“You need to shut your mouth, Mr. I-Act-Like-A-Child.”

“How is that even relative to this situation?” He situated himself inside of the car and turned the key just the right way to get the car running with a wheezing cough.

“I feel like your car is going to fall apart as soon as we get on the road.” Balthazar shuddered dramatically, “I don’t know how you stand it.”

 

“My wallet convinces me to.” Pulling out of the parking lot and taking a right to follow the mysterious car, but by now they’d been delayed for too long. Lucifer’s ride had managed to evade their sights, and they drove to the end of the street and they still couldn’t see the black car.

**Plan B: The Phone**

 

Lucifer had been spending a lot more time talking on his phone and Gabriel was shocked the first time he’s seen the mini keyboard on the phone. He didn’t know Luci knew how to text. So while he was holed up in his room doing whatever he did in there, Balthazar and Gabriel planned on how to use this to their advantage. However, Lucifer kept his phone as under tight a guard as everything else he owned.

So, like the loving brothers they were, concerned for his well-being and safety, watched him at all times he was out of his room. Usually, before he got up from the couch or wherever he was sitting, if his phone had been in his hands, he would slip it in his pocket. But at one point on a Tuesday afternoon, he’d thrown it onto the coffee table before getting up to saunter off into the kitchen. Gabe and Balthazar had a mini war over that phone, scrambling over each other and kneeing one another in the face and the groin before Gabriel was triumphant, holding his victory prize above his head like it was some kind of baby lion.

“We don’t have that long, so stop messing around,” Balthazar hissed, and Gabe pressed a few buttons and the screen lit up with text messages. The name, however, of the person that he had been texting most recently wasn’t really a name. It just said, “Not Your Business, Guys.” and the only message recorded was, “I’m pretty sure my brothers are going to steal my phone and look through my messages, so don’t reply until I say it’s safe.” Gabriel sighed and showed the phone to Balthazar, who said, “So he’s known the whole time.”

“Apparently,” He closed the phone in defeat, sliding back to where it had been previously on the table. “I guess we’ve gotta try plan C.”

**Plan C: Infiltrate the Cave**

They waited until Lucifer had left again, but this time they didn’t follow him. They had taken one of Kali’s bobby pins and were trying to unlock Lucifer’s door with it. Unfortunately, neither of them really knew how to pick a lock.

“Give it to me, I can do a much better job than your sorry ass.” Gabriel shoved his hand in front of Balthazar face, breaking his concentration.

“No. I’m the one that’s got nimble fingers. You’re a clumsy oaf.” A his words, Gabe gave a short bark of laughter, “You’ve never asked Kali about my fingers then. And I’m the more intelligent one, and this requires some intelligence.”

“Yeah right, It’s just fiddling around a little bit,” Balthazar said, doing just that with the pin in the lock of Lucifer’s door, to no avail.

“No, I’m pretty sure there’s a technique to it.” He pursed his lips as he thought about it.

“And do you know it?” Balthazar turned around to give his brother the patented face #You’reAFuckingIdiot.

“No, but I’m pretty sure we can look it up. He’s probably not going to be home for a while.”

Balthazar sighed and relinquished the pin to go look on the laptop for ways to pick a lock while Gabriel tried his hand at guessing how it worked. Peering at the computer, Balthazar said, “I don’t know if this is the same kind of lock.”

“Are you seriously that stupid? Okay, let me look at it.” He took the laptop and squinted at the screen, “This makes no sense.”

“Told you. I’m not stupid, you idiot.”

“I think it’s time to give up on this plan.”

“But Plan D is…”

“Terrifying.”

**Plan D: Deal with the Devil**

“Hey, Luci?” Gabriel asked from the couch, trying to be sweet even as his brother turned his glare on him.

“What do you want?” The words were a growl in his throat, and Gabe almost regretted asking, but this was their last chance.

“We…wanted to know why you’ve been leaving so much lately, and talking on the phone. You know, we’re just concerned for you.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, “You’re concerned because I’m acting like other people?” He raised an eyebrow at his brother.

“Yeah. You’re not exactly a normal human being, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I told you, I have friends.” He looked almost…hurt by Gabriel’s words. Everyone assumed that he was just going to be able to take anything because he was really abrasive, but no one, not even his own brothers, bothered to think about why he might be so abrasive.

“Hey, Lucifer, we know that can’t be true, right?”

“Yeah, well, it is.” Lucifer’s words were tinged with poison and he stormed down the hall, going into his own room and slamming the door.

**Plan E: Give Up**

They sat together in the living room, silent but both thinking the same thing.

“He doesn’t want us to know.” Gabriel shrugged, “Maybe we should just let him be for once.”

“I’m not one for giving up,” Balthazar said, looking once more towards Lucifer’s door, “Maybe we can try again?”

“No.” Gabriel’s voice was firm, “We need to respect his boundaries. He clearly wants them for a reason.”

Down the hall, behind a locked door and sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, Lucifer was thinking. He was thinking, more or less, about himself and how he acted with other people. He knew that he came off as very aggressive and abrasive, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t…hurt that he didn’t have any friends. That it didn’t hurt when his brothers of all people pointed it out to him, laughed at the idea of someone finding him enjoyable to be around. It made him wonder if he really was just that bad, just that horrible to be around.

It wasn’t like he had a choice other than to be that way. He’d been picked on, teased, for his name and he resented his parents so much for naming him after Lucifer of all people. It wasn’t like he could do anything but grow to live up to his name. After all, no one wanted to be friends with the Devil.

Being so secretive likely didn’t help this image, but his brothers were just so pushy with his personal space and privacy. He wanted to tell them, but they didn’t respect his boundaries. He lied back on his head, looking at the ceiling in the dark, listening to their conversation, listening to Gabriel speak.

He made his decision in a split second, shooting up off the bed and striding down the hallway without even locking his door. He stopped in front of his brothers, and they stared at each other for a minute.

“Saturday, I’ll tell you at dinner.”

Balthazar, king of putting his foot in his mouth asked, “Why can’t you tell us now?”

Lucifer glared, “My secrets, my terms.” Gabriel clapped a hand over Balthazar’s mouth so he couldn’t say anything to reverse the decision, “Good, good. We’ll see you then.” He gave his best smile, but Lucifer just rolled his eyes and stomped back into his room.


End file.
